


Just Sing A Little Louder

by fallingintoplace



Series: Bastard Souls [2]
Category: Bright Eyes (Band), Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: Bands, Depression, Gangs, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-23 20:54:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6129784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingintoplace/pseuds/fallingintoplace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been two years since Kellin and Vic have last seen each other. What happens when they finally meet up again?<br/>Dudes I rewrote this and will hopefully finish it soon so read it if you want, I didn't change much just made it more cohesive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rewrite

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DeadMilitia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadMilitia/gifts), [saratza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/saratza/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! I rewrote this and I'll hopefully finish it soon. I made it less messy and hopefully better but give me some feedback and I'll be deliriously happy. So love you, and I'm also giving a big trigger warning for violence and rape, that also leads to some severe psychological problems. Please stay safe and I love you all!

Vic’s POV

I missed Kellin so much. It had been over two years since we last saw each other and he kissed me. I relived that moment every day and it broke my heart. Did Kellin not like me or was I just not good enough? Did his friends not want him to talk to me? I could understand why. I hurt him in ways that were unforgivable.

“Vic?” Mike’s voice broke me out of my thought trap. I sighed.

“Yes?”

“Two things. One, we’ve had some problems with the Brides edging into our territory. Second, will you go to concert with me?”

“What the hell does a concert have to do with anything? And send a warning to Andy that we’ll come after him if he keeps doing that.” I thought he was smarter than that. It must be one of his underlings. I always thought hiring Ashley was a stupid idea. He seemed sketchy, which was saying something, considering the business we’re in.

“Roger that. And I really think you’ll enjoy this band. They’re really good, and I don’t want to go alone. I promise you’ll like them. It’s in a month. They’re a small local band and they’re opening for All Time Low. You know you like All Time Low,” Mike wheedled. Seeing All Time Low did seem like fun, and I needed to get up of my ass and stop moping about Kellin. He’s not going to come back, and who knows? I might actually have a good time.

“Okay. I’ll go.”

“Great! I’m so pumped.” Mike left, and I returned to moping. I wondered about where Kellin is now. I hope he’s happy. He deserves to be happy.

“Wait! Mike!” He poked his head back into the room.

“What’s the band’s name?”

“Sleeping With Sirens.” What a stupid name. I looked them up online, and their lead singer was some guy named Quinn. There were very few pictures of them, and none showed the leader singer face on. He did seem a little familiar. I must have seen him somewhere but I couldn’t put a finger on it.

I played a few of their songs, and Mike was right. I did like them. The singer had a very unusual voice, rather high for a guy. Though who am I to judge? I have some sort of chipmunk voice. 

The day of the concert arrived with a bang. Literally. I woke up to gunshots echoing around me.

“Vic! Vic, get up!” Tony was shaking me awake. “The Brides are attacking.” Shit. This was absolute fucking shit. I grabbed my gun and sprinted downstairs. It was a bloody mess. A few of my guys were on the ground, but we had shot down all of the Brides. Not surprised, I saw Ashley, but no Andy.

I strode over and dragged Ashley up by the collar. He was bleeding profusely from his forehead where a bullet had grazed the side of his face. I punched him.

“Did Andy send you?” He spit in my face. I motioned to one of my men and he grabbed Jinxx. It was a shame, because I rather liked Jinxx, but I needed information. I held a gun to Jinxx’s head. “Ashley, I’m going to ask you one more time, and if you don’t answer, Jinxx is dead.” Jinxx looked at Ashley, pleading with his eyes.

“Fine. No, Andy didn’t send us.” I exchanged a look with Tony and Mike.

“Then why are you here?”

“I wanted to get rid of you. Andy’s always complaining about you, and I thought I could get promoted for knocking you out.”

“You’re definitely not getting promoted now.” I swung my gun to face Ashley and shot him. He crumpled. I turned to Jinxx. “You go back to Andy and tell him to stay away from me if he wants to live.” He nodded, and I released him. I nudged Ashley’s body lightly with my toe. I didn’t like killing people, but it was necessary, and anyways, Ashley was a piece of scum.

Finally, that fiasco was over. I was ready to go to the concert and forget this morning. Mike wanted to get there early so we could get good standing spots. I washed Ashley’s blood off me and got ready. We headed out right after lunch, and were waiting in line for hours. I heard the girls giggling behind me, talking about how cute Quinn is, how he has such a nice voice. I rolled my eyes. Jesus. I hated fangirls.

After what felt like years, the doors opened, and we were right at the barrier. Sleeping With Sirens was the second band playing, but I thoroughly enjoyed the first one. They were called Breathe Carolina, and I liked their techno vibe.

Sleeping With Sirens came on the stage. Their singer was fantastic, and was really engaging the crowd. Then he turned and I was able to see his face. It was a face I thought I’d never see again. Kellin was on stage, looking happier than I’d ever seen him. I looked at Mike, and saw that he was grinning smugly. They started to play, and I reveled in how beautiful Kellin’s voice was. I didn’t know he could sing. Then again, for a long while, he couldn’t talk. They were about to play their final song, when Kellin caught sight of me in the front row. I gave him a small smile.

“Oh, shit.” Then he collapsed in a dead faint. One of the guitarists grabbed the microphone and said, “We’ll be at the merch stand signing stuff! Come see us!” Someone carried Kellin off the stage, and the crowd started murmuring, wondering what the hell had just happened.

 

Kellin’s POV

I was understandably freaked out. The man who had haunted my dreams for two years now was right there, in front of me. I wasn’t sure if I was happy or scared, but I was absolutely confused. Why was he here? How did he find me? Memories of him had tortured me at night, when I couldn’t sleep because of the nightmares, or the thoughts. I felt bad for kissing him then just leaving, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was too afraid of him talking about love to talk to him. And Oli didn’t like me talking about him. He said it made me upset. And it did. I had two years to process what had happened, and I realized that love doesn’t matter if they hurt you. I guess I had forgiven Vic, but he brought back so many bad memories from my past that I had tried to forget. I still woke up screaming most nights anyways.. It was always the same nightmare. My father would hurt me, violate me, and then Vic would save me only to hurt me as well. I knew that the dreams were just that, but they felt so real. I felt in my gut, though, that I should talk to Vic, maybe try and get some form of closure.

I got up from the chair backstage that I was sitting in, and headed over to the merch stand where the rest of the band was. They had all grown to be my close friends, but they didn’t know my story. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust them, but more that I was too scared of being judged for letting my father hurt me like that. I was just so weak. I assumed that Vic would come to the merch stand to see me, and I was right. I spotted him weaving his way through the crowd with Mike in tow. He swooped me into a hug, and I stiffened, not used to physical contact. All of my friends knew not to touch me. Only Oli was allowed to, and sometimes Gerard. Vic, not noticing my discomfort, wrapped me tightly in his arms.

“I missed you so much,” he whispered into my ear, his breath warm and moist against the shell of my ear.

“Please let go of me,” I said tightly, panic lacing my voice. Vic quickly took a step back ad surveyed me.

“You look good.” I realized that this was probably the first time Vic had seen me without bruises. I still had scars, but for once, my skin wasn’t painted black and blue.

“So do you.” We looked at each other awkwardly, before I took pity on him and said, “I missed you, too.” His shoulders relaxed and he grinned. “How about this. Are you free tomorrow? Let’s grab lunch and chat. We have a lot of catching up to do.”

“Sure. I’d love that.” He looked like he wanted to say something else, but I turned away to talk to the other people surrounding us, and Vic disappeared back into the crowd.

Oli and I walked to the café that Vic and I had picked out. Oli didn’t want me going alone. Even though I felt decently safe and confident that Vic wouldn’t hurt me, Oli wasn’t. Vic was seated already, and smiled when I walked in, though the smile faded when he saw Oli.

“Hey.”

“Been a long time no see,” I said, then cringed. 

“Yeah…”

“So, how’ve you been?” This wasn’t getting any less awkward.

“Pretty good. What about you? You have a band now!” 

“Yeah, it’s been a pretty wild ride, but a lot of fun. I love singing.”

“You’re really good at it, too! You have a beautiful voice.” I blushed, and looked down at the table, feeling anxious. Oli grabbed my hand under the table and squeezed it. I looked at him gratefully. Vic looked at me, then said, “Why didn’t you talk to me? I missed you.”

“The truth? I was fucking terrified of you. I still have nightmares of you hurting me. I wasn’t emotionally or mentally strong enough to handle talking to you, and by the time I was, it had been far too long. I needed time to recover.” His face paled.

“I have never been more sorry for anything in my life than what I had done to you.”

“It’s taken me a long time, but I’m starting to forgive you.” He looked reassured, and I gave him a small smile.

“If you’ve forgiven me, maybe we could go on a date sometime,” he asked hopefully. When I grimaced, he continued. “I’m moving to fast, aren’t I?”

“That, and Oli and I are already dating.” His face crumpled and I felt so awful, but it was what it was. Oli made me feel safe. I didn’t love him, but I don’t think I could love anyone. And Oli knew and respected my boundaries. “Though we can still hang out sometimes!”

“Sure. I’d love that.” After that, we eased into more casual, less stressful talk, just catching up and made plans for me to come over to his house/headquarters the next day.

The next day came, and I walked over to Vic’s. We were planning to play some video games or watch a movie or two. After about an hour of Grand Theft Auto, Vic’s phone rang.

“Hello?” Vic talked for about fifteen minutes before hanging up. “That was Andy.”

“Who?”

“He’s the leader of a gang we’ve been having some troubles with. He’ll be here in about half an hour. You can stay if you want to, but you don’t have to get involved if you don’t want to. It shouldn’t take too long.”

“I guess I’ll stay. I don’t have anything better to do. Maybe we can watch a movie after.”

“I’d like that. This is nice, you know. Just hanging out. Anyways, I need to go find Mike and a few other people.” I sat back down on the couch and waited. A few people walked by, and Jaime did a double take.

“Kellin! I didn’t know you were here! It’s been a long time.” I smiled, because I had always liked Jaime.

“Yeah. I was just hanging out with Vic when he got a call from some guy named Andy.”

“Yeah. We’re just waiting for him to show up.” As he was speaking, the room was filling up with more people, some who I recognized, and many others that I didn’t know. Finally, Vic came back.

“Hey, everybody,” he addressed the crowd gathered around him. “Andy is coming over to discuss a truce. We’ll listen to what he has to say, and hopefully we won’t have to kill anyone else.” Why were they talking about killing? I was not liking where this was going.

The doorbell rang, and someone opened the door to reveal two of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. The man must’ve been Andy, and Jaime whispered to me that the woman was Juliet, Andy’s girlfriend and his second in command. There was desperate fear in Andy’s face as he stepped into the room. Both his and Juliet’s faces were covered with bruises and their clothing had blood all over it.

“Vic, we need help,” Andy whispered, before crumpling to the floor.

 

Vic’s POV

“Juliet! What the hell happened?” I shouted. There was a bloody, unconscious man staining the carpet on the floor and I was _not_ happy.

“We got attacked.”

“I can tell! By who?”

“A new gang. Bright Eyes. Their leader is some guy name Conor Oberst and he said, he said we’re just a warning. He killed everybody, Vic.”

“Juliet, calm down. Tell me what happened.” I could feel Kellin’s frightened eyes on my back. 

“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down! I just saw the majority of my friends killed.”

“How about this? We get Andy some medical attention and then you can tell us what happened?”

“Okay. Yeah, okay. That sounds good,” Juliet said, suddenly exhausted. I scanned around the group of people standing around me and saw no one with much medical experience.

“Vic? I could probably help. I’ve tended enough wounds in my life.” Kellin volunteered. I winced, remembering what he had told me of his past life, and knowing he barely skimmed the surface.

“Thank you, Kellin.” He stood up, and with help from Jaime, carried Andy to one of the bedrooms. Juliet sat down on the couch and curled up into a ball. 

“He killed everyone, Vic!” she whispered, and started to cry. I had only seen Kellin this desperate before, and it broke my heart. Andy and I weren’t the best of friends, but no one deserved to have their gang destroyed and their friends killed. “He started by picking them off one by one, sending us pieces of their bodies back, as a warning. Then his gang attacked our safe house. It turned out that Ashley was never ours, he was always Conor’s. And he killed them all. There was so much blood! And now they’re gone and its our fault. We should have listened.” Her eyes had a haunted look, and when Kellin came back into the room, he swooped down and gave her a hug, telling her that it would be okay. He looked at me and mouthed, “He’s awake.” I stood up to go talk to Andy, knowing that Juliet would be fine with Kellin. I talked to Andy, and he basically said the same story as Juliet. He was crying into my shoulder when Kellin poked his head in. 

“I should probably leave. Oli must be worried about me. Juliet is fine. Or at least she will be. I helped her clean up and treated some of the scrapes and cuts she had.”

“Okay, Kells, maybe we can try this again when things slow down.” I was sad to see him go and more than a little irate that Andy had interrupted us, but I understood why. It must be devastating to see your, well, family destroyed like that. Kellin left, closing the door, and I turned back to Andy.

“Here’s what we’re going to do. I’ll call some of the other gangs around and see who can help us get revenge.” He smiled weakly at me.

“Thank you, Vic. I know we’ve never been close, and I can never repay you for helping us.”

“It’s the least I can do. I’ve seen loved ones get hurt and it’s one of the hardest things.” Andy smiled one last time, then fell back asleep. I sighed, and stood up. I desperately needed a plan.

 

Kellin’s POV

Oli had given up so much for me. He gave up his gang and band to stay with me, since he knew I wasn’t going back. Josh, the new leader, said that Oli could always come back and take control again, and Oli seemed like he missed being in charge. He could get a little demanding sometimes, though. When I walked in with blood all over my clothes, he freaked out. Understandably, of course. 

“Kellin! What the hell happened to you?” he screamed.

“Some people at Vic’s needed help and I helped treat them. It was no big deal.”

“Yes, it is a big deal! I don’t like you touching other people. Next time, just come straight home.” I furrowed my brow. I didn’t like how Oli was trying to control me.

“You’re not in charge of me!”

“Of course not, but I’m just trying to keep you safe, baby. 

“You’re not keeping me safe! You’re controlling me!”

“You are mine, Kellin, and I will protect you in every way I can!” he roared. I shirked away from him, but he stepped forward until I was pressed against the wall. “I can’t lose you again.”

“Oli?” I whispered.

“No. Let me talk. You’ve had so many shitty things happen to you I knew I shouldn’t have let you go over to Vic’s. You’ll just get hurt again!” I was backed into a corner, with tears streaming down my face. I hated feeling so trapped, helpless. It reminded me of being back with my father.

“Oli! You’re scaring me!” He took a step back, and finally noticed how scared I was.

“Oh my god, Kellin! I’m so sorry, please forgive me.” I shook my head, and darted out of his open arms. I texted Vic, and asked if I could come over again. He said “sure,” so I packed a small overnight bag and left, leaving Oli calling my name, asking for forgiveness.

 

Third person perspective

Far away, back in Kellin’s hometown, a man was sitting at a computer, watching a viral video of a singer fainting onstage. He laughed, knowing he had found him and was going to make him his again.

 

Vic’s POV

I paced back and forth in the foyer, waiting by the door for Kellin. I was so worried about him. He wouldn’t come to me for help unless he was desperate. I was terrified. When the door bell finally rang, I swung it open to reveal a shaking Kellin as pale as a ghost. I swept him into a hug, but he stiffened at my touch and I immediately let go.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, concern obvious in my voice. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish before just shaking his head. I sighed and ushered him over to the couch, and wrapped him in a blanket. I went into the kitchen and made some tea for the both of us and sat down next to him.

“Are you okay?” I asked. He hesitated before shaking his head no. A moment later, he burst into tears. I awkwardly patted his back, relaxing when he didn’t flinch away. I slid closer and wrapped my arm around his shoulder.

“I’m so scared, Vic,” he whispered. “He scared me so bad.”

“Who scared you?”

“Oli.” I was livid. How dare he? He should know better not to hurt Kellin.

“How did he scare you?”

“He kept on saying that I was his and it reminded me so much of what my father used to say. I know it’s stupid to get so worked up over nothing, but I can’t help it. I’m so weak.” I was trying hard not to get angry. It would only make this worse.

“No! Hey, listen to me. You’re the opposite of weak. You are the strongest person I know. You’ve gone through so much, yet you’re still kind and brave. That’s one of the reasons I love you.” I was so sad that Kellin felt that way; no one should feel this helpless and alone.

“You still love me? Why would anyone love me?” It hurt me that he doubted himself so much.

“Kellin, I think I’ll always love you.” He gave me a weak smile, and yawned. I wrapped his blanket around his shoulders and walked with him to his room. He lay down on his bed and curled up tight under the covers.

“Vic?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can you sing to me?”

“Sure, baby. ” I hated my singing voice. I felt like I sounded like a chipmunk who had just inhaled some helium, but I would do anything for Kellin. I sorted through the songs I had written in my mind, trying to think of something suitable. Finally, I decided on one.

 

“When all is good, we close our eyes

They all accept the lie”

 

It was one of my favorite songs I had written, and I called it “Tangled in the Great Escape”. Before I finished, Kellin was fast asleep.

I slipped out of the room, and headed down the hall to the room Juliet and Andy were sharing. We needed to talk about what to do about Conor Oberst. He couldn’t stay unchecked for long.

I knocked, and Juliet opened the door. I stepped inside, and Andy stood up slowly to greet me from his chair in the corner, wincing in pain. I motioned for him to sit back down, and I sat on the edge of the bed, facing Juliet and Andy.

“I might have a plan.” The idea was to use Andy and Juliet as bait and leak it that they were going to meet up with Conor at an old warehouse. Once there, me and some of my guys would come in and control the situation.

It seemed like a solid plan to us, and we set about enacting in. I had some guys talk to a few people and got the message going around that they would be at the warehouse in three days’ time. We would be ready.

Since Kellin was asleep in my bedroom, I headed down to the living room and stretched out on the couch. Just as I was about to fall asleep, the doorbell rang. I opened the door, revealing Oli Sykes.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I demanded.

“Please tell me if Kellin’s here, if he’s okay?”

“And why should I do that?”

“Because I care about him!”

“It didn’t seem that way when he came crying to my doorstep. You really scared him, Oli, and you brought back memories of the past.”

“You act like you never hurt him, like you’re perfect. What about the fact that you fucking kidnapped him!” Oli snarled.

“I never said I didn’t do anything to him, but you just brought that up to make yourself feel better about hurting him. I know that I hurt him, and I’ve never regretted something so much in my life. Now, if you would please kindly get out of my house.” Oli glared at me, then spun around and stalked off. I slammed the door behind him. Good riddance.

About an hour later, Kellin came downstairs swaddled up in a blanket. He sat down next to me on the couch, and leaned against me, resting his head on my shoulder.

“Hey,” he mumbled into my shoulder.

“Hey, yourself. What’s up?” He sighed. “Oli stopped by, looking for you. I told him to leave. I can ask him to come back if you want me to.” Kellin sat up, and rubbed his eyes.

“I think… I think I’m going to break up with Oli. We were better as friends, and I feel like I’m too fragile and worthless to be with someone. No one should want to date me. Oli will be able to be with someone better.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Stop thinking like that. Anyone who’s dating you is the luckiest person alive, and you should be with someone that makes you happy.” He gave me a weak smile, and shook his head.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” he asked.

“Because I love you.”

“You keep saying that, but everyone who has ever said that has hurt me.” The bitterness in his voice shocked me.

“I’m so, so sor-“

“I’m sick of you saying you’re sorry! That’s all anyone ever says, I’m sorry, I love you, I won’t hurt you! And guess what! They do! They all hurt me and I can’t take it anymore. I just can’t take it.” Kellin’s anger quickly turned into heavy, broken sobs, and I wrapped my arms around his heaving shoulders. He flinched, but then leaned into my arms. He sniffled, “I guess I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”

“I probably deserved that. I hurt you so bad I’m surprised you can actually stand to sit next to me. Every day I regret what I did to you.” Kellin shook his head.

“I think I’m going to go stay with Mikey and Gerard. They’ve always been nice to me and I’m not afraid of them.” Ouch. That hurt. I hated to know he was afraid of me. Kellin took my silence as agreement, and stood up to head out. On his way, I called his name.

“Kellin? I care about you.” He gave me the first full smile I had seen in a long while and headed out the door.

He didn’t text or call during the next two days, days that were spent preparing. When the time came, we were ready. It was going to go off without a hitch. I drove Juliet and Andy down to the warehouse where we were planning to trap Conor. The warehouse was eerie, dark and full of cobwebs. The three of us stepped inside, and I flicked on the lights. I was surprised that this old building still had electricity.

The doors slammed shut, and the lights flickered before turning off. Before I knew it, I was shoved to the ground, and my hands were handcuffed behind me. Andy and Juliet thumped to the floor beside me. I was yanked into a kneeling position, and I felt the round, cool metal of a gun pressed to my temple. The lights winked back on. Conor Oberst was standing in the middle of the room. Fuck. I was going to die today. He walked towards me, and tilted my head up until I was looking him in the eye.

“You’re shorter than I thought you were,” he mused. “You thought you were so smart, didn’t you? Too bad someone in your gang is a traitor.” That meant we never even had a chance. But who would betray us?

“Come on out,” he called. A man walked into the room, dragging with him what looked like a body. “Hello, Mike.” My own goddamn brother was standing there, next to Conor Oberst, and when I realized who the body was, I screamed.

It was my innocent Kellin. And he looked like he was dead, but when I caught sight of his chest moving up and down, I breathed more easily. He was still alive. Then I turned my attention back to Conor. He had his arm slung across Mike’s shoulder, and a cheerful grin on his face.

“It’s like a little family reunion!” he crowed, looking pleased with himself. “Speaking of family reunions, we have someone here who I’d like our little Kells here to see. Someone wake it up.” Mike kicked Kellin in the ribs, and he stirred, then sat up, looking dazed. His face was covered in bruises and there was a clotted wound above his eyebrow. “Nice to see you’re awake, my little Kellin! I brought a special guest here to say hi to you!” Out of the shadows in the back of the warehouse stepped a man who looked vaguely like Kellin. He had short, black hair and Kellin’s beautiful eyes, but his were tainted with malice. He was wearing a wife-beater tank top and a pair of baggy, ripped blue jeans and walked with an air of entitlement and self-importance. “Say hello to your dad!”

Kellin almost screamed, curled up, then fainted again. “Aw, that’s no fun,” Conor pouted. He went over to where Kellin was lying and kicked him a couple times. He didn’t move. “I guess we’ll just have to wait until he wakes up.” Conor walked over until he was standing right in front of me, and leaned down until his face was centimeters from mine. He whispered in my ear, “It’ll be so fun to have you watch him die.” I jerked away and he laughed and laughed. “Hey, Mike! Why don’t you come on over and tell your brother why you betrayed him!”

Mike kicked Kellin’s body before muttering, “I never liked him.” He stalked over to where I was kneeling. “You always got everything you ever wanted. You got the gang, power and money. And you had our parents’ love. But who was always forgotten? Oh yeah, me! No one ever remembered poor Mike, no, they were too busy kissing the ground that you walked over! I’m sick of it! I want the gang, I want power, I want people to remember my name. I want people to care about me.” His voice softened. “Do you know how many nights I cried myself to sleep and no one cared? Not Mom, not Dad, and especially not you. So fuck you for pretending, and there’s a special place in hell for you.” He started to cry with angry sobs shaking his shoulders and his faced turned bright red. He kicked me in the side, hard, and I muffled a grunt of pain.

“How sweet, brotherly love!” Conor brought the conversation back to him. With another kick, Mike walked back over to him, wiping tears from his eyes angrily. He stood next to Conor, leaning into him for support. “Isn’t our Mike cute? It’s such a shame that I have to kill him. Once a traitor, always a traitor.” Mike looked at him, panicked and tried to jolt away, but Conor pulled out a knife and stabbed Mike in the back. He crumpled to the ground. “What a fitting end for a backstabber!” I would have laughed it I wasn’t terrified out of my wits, scared for my own life but especially for Kellin, and saddened at my brother’s death. He was my brother, no matter that he betrayed me, and a tear slipped out of my eyes as I watched him feebly struggle, blood forming a pool beneath him.

A slight scream broke the silence. Kellin sat up, and shook his head. He looked around and caught sight of me.

“Oh god, Vic, thank god you’re here. I’m scared, I thought my father found me!”

“I did,” his father dryly commented. Kellin screeched again, and scrambled back. I had never seen him so scared.

“Oh, good, you’re awake! Now the fun can begin. Who wants to go first? Kellin, or Vic? I think I’ll go with… Kellin. It’s your lucky day! Enjoy the show, Vic.”

 

Kellin’s POV (This starts after he leaves Vic’s home)

I walked out of Vic’s house, still very upset, headed towards Mikey’s house. We had grown to be pretty good friends, especially since I knew sign language. I was walking and walking and it took a little while for me to realize I was lost. It was dark outside, and I started to get rather worried. I noticed a car about a half a block away that I had remembered seeing parked outside of Vic’s house. That’s when I started to run. To my dismay, the van speeded up to follow me, and it eventually cut me off. Three men hopped out, and dragged me to the ground. Someone covered my face with a sickly-sweet smelling rag, and I passed out.

I woke up with a massive headache. I was in a dark, damp room, tied up like a hog, at my ankles and my hands behind my back. I must have waited for hours before anyone came in to check on me. And in walked Mike. Shit, I thought, Vic must’ve taken me again. I probably voiced my thoughts aloud, since Mike chuckled, and said, “I don’t work for Vic anymore. Here’s my new boss.” Another man walked in, handsome with dark hair and dark eyes. He crouched down in front of me.

“Ah, it’s so nice to finally meet you, Kellin. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you. We’re going to have such a good time! And I must say, you’re quite pretty, though I’m sure you’ll look even better all bruised. I was going to wait for Vic, but I think we can start having fun now!” I started crying before he even touched me. It had been a long time since I had been physically hurt, and I, well, forgot how much it _hurt_. They finished soon, though, but before they left, Conor pressed a kiss against my forehead. “Maybe we can play again later, sweetie.”

A blow to my already bruised ribs woke me up. I vaguely heard Conor’s voice and I sat up and almost immediately noticed him, my dad, walking towards me. I promptly fainted.

I woke up and I could barely see as my dazed, blurry vision swept across the room. I caught sight of a blurry face that looked like Vic’s, and told him that I dreamt that my dad found me again. He just looked at me sadly, and as my vision cleared, I heard a voice that I hadn’t heard outside of my dreams in years, a voice that I had hoped never to hear again. It was my dad, and I knew he was never letting me go again. At least not alive.

Conor spoke again, and I realized that him hurting me would hurt Vic even more than physically hurting him. I was a weapon against him. I had a slight idea of what was going to happen, and I didn’t even struggle when the first thing they did was tear off my clothes. I heard my dad come up behind me, and he shoved my face into the floor. When I screamed, it wasn’t from shock, but from absolute pain. It hurt far more than I remembered. He just pushed in without any warning, and I sobbed and sobbed from being violated. 

“I missed you,” he said. “Or at least your body.” He laughed, and was soon finished. I just lied on the floor, my soul leaving my body in my tears. But they weren’t done with me yet. Vic was yelling, shouting my name, begging for them to stop, but I knew they wouldn’t. Conor and my dad were feeding off of my pain.

“You do look prettier painted black and blue. It brings out your eyes. But I know how to make you even more beautiful.” Conor yanked the knife out of Mike’s body, and wiped the blood off on his pants. He handed it to my dad, who carved the word SLUT into my chest. Above it, he added WORTHLESS.

“Because that’s all you are. A worthless slut.” I nodded. He was right. Vic by now was crying harder than I was, and there were three people holding him back. My dad wrapped his meaty hands around my neck. He started to choke me, and I thrashed about, trying to free myself. He just held on tighter. Eventually, I stopped kicking, and the world faded to black.

 

Vic’s POV

Kellin was screaming, screaming, and I was screaming, too, a terrible duet. I struggled against the people holding me back, unable to help my Kellin. I tried to stand up, but one of the men holding me captive kicked me in the back of my knees and I fell to the ground again. Juliet and Andy looked on in horror, and they were crying, because Kellin was so innocent of everything and he did not deserve any of the things that happened to him, that his father did and I did. They were hurting him and I was powerless to stop it. His father raped him, was choking him, and now Kellin was lying inert on the floor, limp and not breathing. Oh god, he couldn’t be dead! If he was, it would be all my fault.

Conor was laughing and Kellin’s dad looked sickeningly pleased with himself, and I was crying, sobbing, because the light of my life was gone, and he had such an awful life, he deserved to be happy but now it was too late and a part of me died with him.

“Oh, poor Vic! His little caged songbird is dead,” crooned Conor, and my heart shriveled with hate for the man who had taken away everything I held dear. “But don’t worry, Vic, your turn will come soon. But later. We’ll have lots of fun together. You’re almost as pretty as my little Kellin.” I choked at his possessiveness over Kellin. My heart ached for him, and I wished I could die, so I could join Kellin. I must’ve voiced that aloud, and Conor chuckled. “Vickie, we aren’t going to kill you for a long, long time. It was such a shame that Kellin was done so soon.”

“And I’ll need someone to take Kellin’s place. I’m a man and I have… needs,” Kellin’s dad butted in. Maybe I deserved this, for being such an awful person, for hurting so many people. Karma was a bitch, right?

“We should probably leave,” Conor said. The three of us, me, Juliet and Andy, were lead outside to a waiting van, and we were shoved into the back.

“What about Kellin?” his dad asked.

“Eh, just leave him. We can always come back later to get rid of him.” And just like that, we left. I was still reeling in shock from what had just happened, and in the van, I curled up in a ball, unable to even cry now. I hated myself so much for not being able to help Kellin. We drove for about half an hour, and then I was roughly shoved out of the van, and into a small, dark locked room. It was very cold, and we sat leaning against each other for comfort and warmth. I didn’t understand why such awful things happened to Kellin, who was a good soul. It was like the world hated him, and just wanted to destroy him. And it did. He was gone, and I was never going to see him again, and oh god I just wanted to follow him into the dark. We sat in the dark for what felt like hours until the door swung open. Conor Oberst was standing there with his dangerous, insane grin.

“It’s your turn to play, Vic!”

 

Third person POV(This is back at Vic’s headquarters and quite a while ago.)

Jaime and Tony were sitting at the kitchen table, playing cards.

“Hey, Tony? Wasn’t Vic supposed to call us after a little while? It must’ve been hours since we last heard from him.”

“We should probably head down there to make sure everything is alright.” The two men head to their car, and drove to the warehouse. They pushed gently on the door, and it creaked open ominously. In the center of the dim room were two bodies, lying in pools of blood.

“Oh my god. Is that Mike and Kellin? What the hell happened?” They rushed over to Mike first, but they couldn’t find a pulse. Kellin’s body had a faint heartbeat and they swooped him up and took him to their car. “Who can we call to help him?”

“Don’t the Chemmies have a little hospital station in their headquarters?”

“But do you think they’ll help us?”

“Not for us, but they’ll definitely help Kellin.” Tony called Frank, and explained the situation, that they found Kellin’s dying body in the warehouse and that he needed help. Frank agreed, but warily. They drove to the My Chemical Romance headquarters, where Kellin was wrapped in a blanket and taken down to the underground hospital room. They hooked him up to an IV and started to bandage his numerous wounds. Oli stood by his bed, terrified for his friend’s life. He regretted that their last conversation was a fight and that he had scared Kellin so much that he had left. He had never felt so guilty.

Tony and Jaime stood in the corner, planning their next move. They didn’t know where Vic was, but they could guess that he was where Conor was. They were startled by a scream, and Kellin’s eyes popped open. He screamed and screamed himself hoarse and then started sobbing. Everyone in the small room gathered around him, waiting for him to calm down. He finally stopped crying, and they were able to ask what happened. The story came out in stilted sentences, but they got the gist of it. Mike had betrayed Vic, and Conor had Vic, Juliet, and Andy. He refused, though, to say what had happened to him, and they could only guess that he had been cruelly tortured, and by the bruises around his neck, that he had been choked within an inch of his life.

Frank was furious. He wasn’t friends with Pierce the Veil by any means, but he was friends with Kellin, and anyone who hurt Kellin was automatically his enemy, and the enemy of your enemy was your friend, so he was willing to work with them to save Vic and destroy Conor. He and his gang started to plan, but Kellin’s weak voice piped in.

“Can I come?”

“No, you need to rest and heal.”

“But I’m sick of being the victim. I want to kill Conor.” Everyone discussed it, and they decided that Kellin could tag along, but would stay in the back. They talked to some acquaintances and managed to find the Conor’s location. Hopefully, Vic would be there.

 

Vic’s POV

I hadn’t stopped crying and my throat was sore, my nose running. I was bound in the back of a car, and I knew that my chances of getting rescued were getting slimmer and slimmer with every moment we drove. Juliet was looking at me sympathetically while Andy was looking terrified out of his wits. I felt nauseated; I didn’t want pity, I wanted Kellin! But he was dead, and I had a sick feeling it wouldn’t be long until I joined him.

Henchmen dragged the three of us out of the car and into a small, dim room. The light flickered dimly, and I was reminded of the room where we kept prisoners. I felt a rush of feeling for the people I had captured and tortured. If I got out of here alive, I would never hurt another soul. I swore this on my life. The door slammed shut, leaving us in semi-darkness. I curled up against the wall and was almost asleep when I heard Juliet whispering my name.

“Vic!” she whisper-shouted. “I have a plan. Can you come over and untie me?” I crawled over and tugged on the ropes binding her until they came loose. She quickly untied me, while Andy was sleeping in the corner. “Don’t wake him. I don’t want him to get hurt.” She looked at him fondly and I missed having someone to protect. Not that I did a good job.

We stood up, and I shook out my stiff, cramped legs. I stood on one side of the door and she on the other and we waited. And waited, and waited. Finally, someone came, and I punched him right in the throat. Unfortunately for us, he wasn’t alone. Four or five people followed him, and even with Juliet at my side, we were quickly overpowered. Moments later, we were back in the room with our hands zip-tied together and handcuffed. We weren’t getting out anytime soon. And Andy still hadn’t woken up.

Conor came in. He had his ever-present maniacal grin splitting his face and was carrying something, hiding it behind his back. One of his underlings kicked Andy awake, and he let out a small moan, startled.

“That was very foolish of you two. Someone obviously needs to be punished. Who’s idea was it?”

“It was mine!” I blurted. I couldn’t let Juliet be hurt in front of Andy. Juliet looked at me shocked, but didn’t say anything.

“Ah, Vic! That’s so brave of you, protecting your friends! Or maybe you’re hoping I’ll kill you so you can see your precious Kellin again. Well, you’re out of luck. I’m not going to kill you just yet.”

He pulled out an ax from behind his back. My eyes widened. What was he planning on doing? I was unbound and pushed onto the ground, face pressed into the floor. Oh god, he said he wasn’t going to kill me, but what if he does? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to die, even if it meant seeing Kellin again. I took a deep breath, and struggled not to cry. I wanted him to get it over with. The torture of not knowing what was going to happen seemed worse than my actual fate.

The ax swished through the air and white-hot pain seared through me. My body felt like it was on fire, burning up. I let out a scream of pure agony. I had never felt such terrible pain before. It took a while to locate the source of the pain. I opened my eyes and immediately shut them at the sight of all the blood. The fire built up into an inferno and everything went hazy to black.

 

Kellin’s POV

The building was charming. It had a white picket fence and shutters on the windows. But appearances can be deceiving. This was it. Vic was somewhere in that building, hopefully alive. I didn’t know what I would do if he was dead. I’m not sure if I could survive the heartbreak.

I was surrounded by strong, brave people and here I was, just me. I was so scared. Gerard threw an arm around my shaking shoulders.

“Hey, hey, hey, Kellin. Calm down. It’s going to be okay. I promise you that we will do whatever we can to help Vic.” The rescue team consisted of Tony and Jaime, Gerard, Frank, Mikey and Ray, and a handful of other assorted Pierce the Veil and My Chemical Romance gang members. I was going to stay strong. It would not help Vic if I panicked. But even with that thought, I couldn’t control my breathing and my vision tunneled as I started to hyperventilate.

“Kellin. Kellin! Take a deep breath. Kellin, listen to my voice. You need to breathe.” I could hear someone talking but it took a moment for what they were saying to register. I took a deep, shuddering breath, and collapsed into Gerard’s arms, sobbing.

“What if he’s dead, Gee?”

“I don’t know, Kellin, I really don’t,” he sighed, gently patting my back. I sniffled, trying to wipe the tears from my eyes. I was embarrassed that everyone had seen me cry. I was supposed to be stronger than that. I needed to calm down, take control of myself. I needed to be strong for Vic. We were about to take action.

Frank went up the walkway and rang the doorbell. The door swung open, and a man with fresh blood staining his shirt answered. Frank’s gun went off with a bang and the man crumpled to the floor. Everyone rushed inside, and I hobbled after them. My entire body ached and every step sent electric pain though my limbs. My friends spread out through the house and I followed Gerard and Jaime down the stairs into the basement when I heard a scream. I screamed, too, startled and scared. Frank pushed past me, rushing down the steps, with me following as fast as I could.

I screamed again when I got downstairs. Frank and Conor had guns pointed at each other, Juliet and Andy were tied up in the corner but what made me scream was Vic, lying prone in a pool of blood, and… Was that his hand? It was lying a good foot from Vic’s arm and the blood was stemming from the stump of what was left of his forearm. Gerard slipped closer to me and whispered in my ear, “Stay calm.” He passed me his gun, and with shaking arms, I lifted it, aimed, and fired, once, twice, three times. The first shot missed, ricocheting off the ceiling but the net two hit Conor. He fell backwards, but not before squeezing the trigger of his own gun. The bullet hit Frank square in shoulder.

I dropped the gun, rushing over to Vic. I cradled his head in my lap and tore off a bit of his shirt, tying it as a tourniquet above where his wrist was supposed to be. I could faintly hear Gerard crying, Jaime yelling for someone to come help, the thundering of feet on the steps. I protested when someone tried to pull Vic from my arms, but eventually relented. I felt someone pick me up and carry me out of the house and into a car, where my hazy brain shut down, and I fell asleep.

 

Vic’s POV

I kept drifting in and out of consciousness. The bed I was lying in was comfortable, but my arm hurt, and I knew that if I woke up fully, it would hurt a lot more. Slowly, though, I began to wake up.

The first thing I noticed was the pain. It radiated out from my arm, and burned icy-hot. I moaned. That’s when I noticed the second thing, a small gasp, then, “Vic!” It sounded like Kellin, but it couldn’t be. He was dead, and it was probably a pain-induced hallucination. But when I opened my eyes, he was sitting next to me. I came up with the most logical conclusion.

“Am I dead?” I wondered aloud. Kellin let out a low chuckle.

“No, Vic. You’re in the hospital. You’re going to be okay.”

“Okay, Kells.” I giggled. “I’m really sleepy…” I rolled over onto my side and was about to fall back asleep, when I felt a light kiss on my cheek, and Kellin whispering, “I’m going to get the doctor. I love you, Vic.”

I woke up screaming. I had dreamt that someone had hurt my Kellin, and then hurt me. When I opened my eyes, I saw what looked like a doctor and Kellin hovering over me. I reached out slowly to touch Kellin’s bruised face, just to make sure he was real, but I screamed again. My arm ended a little bit before my wrist, and the stump was wrapped in white bandages. Oh god, what had happened?

It took a moments to get my memory back, but god did I wish I never remembered. I fell asleep that night with pain in my arm and Kellin’s screams echoing in my ears. I woke up to absolute terror.

The whole gang came to visit me one or two at a time. The first were, of course, Tony and Jaime. They were dying to know what happened, how Mike died and what happened to Kellin that was so bad he barely talked anymore. They knew what happened after they found Kellin, but he refused to tell them exactly what happened. When they asked, I shook my head. It was up to Kellin to tell them if he wanted to. It wasn’t my place to say what had happened in that old warehouse. Just remembering made me feel ill. I couldn’t believe I had just let that happen to Kellin! It was all my fault. Whenever Kellin cringed away from my touch I knew I was to blame. I knew he wasn’t afraid of me, per se, but afraid of being touched, of being hurt again. It made my heart ache.

I was out of the hospital after a few days. I went home, and immediately went to bed. I didn’t want to face Mike’s absence in the house. I knew he had betrayed me in the worst way, but I missed him terribly. He was my brother, after all. I realized I never told Jaime and Tony how he died. I resolved to do that in the morning. Now all I wanted was to sleep with Kellin by my side, though he refused to sleep in the same bed as me. Instead he kept watch in a chair by my bed, too scared to got to sleep. Sleep meant dreams, and dreams meant nightmares. It was easier to stay awake and remember than to feel it happening all over again. In a memory you could tell yourself it was over, but in a dream, it felt so real. I preferred sleeping over the guilt I felt every time I looked at the bruises covering Kellin’s body, the way he walked with a slight limp, how he cowered in fear if you talked loudly, or god forbid, touched him. It was all my fault. With that oh so happy thought, I fell asleep.

 

Kellin’s POV

Vic was whimpering in his sleep. He felt so guilty, and no matter how many times I tried to tell him it wasn’t his fault, how many times I tried to convince myself it wasn’t his fault, it did nothing. I ached to touch him, to hold him, but was afraid of the contact. I kept myself isolated from the world, only leaving the room if someone came in. I would slip like a ghost from the room and find somewhere else to hide. I didn’t want to be seen. I was ashamed that I had let my father hurt me again like that. He had escaped that day when I killed Conor, and I was terrified he was going to come back to hurt me again and again, and that Vic would do nothing to stop him, just watch, laughing at my suffering.

Vic would leave the room sometimes to bring us food. I barely touched it; I was never hungry, too anxious and fearful to eat. Vic was worried when I started to lose weight, but I didn’t care. I was too fat anyways. Maybe if I didn’t eat, I’d just dwindle away until there was nothing left, I could just disappear.

I spent my time listening to music or crying. Or sometimes both. Gerard came to visit, to tell me how Frank was doing. Apparently, he was very mad that he let that “slimy motherfucker” shoot him, but besides that, he was doing well. I was happy for them. Frank and Gerard were both very resilient, and I knew they were so happy to be together, safe and sound.

My phone was filled up with worried messages, some from my friends in the band, wondering where I was, and a lot from Oli. I knew he saw me when I was in the hospital, but I didn’t talk to him, and now he was blowing up my phone with texts and phone calls. I didn’t respond to a single one, I knew he would hate me if he knew the details, about how I was raped, hurt again. I didn’t deserve his caring. I didn’t deserve anything. I didn’t get how Vic or Oli could care about me. I was damaged goods, I was just a plain mess. I was disgusting. And most days, I wondered why I was still alive.

“Hey, Kellin?” A soft voice matched with a soft touch on the shoulder made me jump. I was weak. But it was Vic. “Can you eat something for me? I’m really worried about you.” He passed me a bowl of soup, and I took a sip to make him happy. I gave him a slight smile. “Listen, Kells, I’ve been thinking that you could start seeing a therapist. I-I’m just scared for you.” I felt sick. Even when I was barely there, I was still a problem, a problem that needed to be fixed. I should have died. It would’ve been easier, better for everyone. I sniffled.“Kellin, please don’t cry. Hey, I’m sorry. I just want you to feel better.” I nodded, then curled up again in my chair with my earbuds in, dead to the world.

 

Vic’s POV

Not that it’s surprising, but not having a hand sucked. It was my right hand, which meant I needed to learn how to write and do other critical things with my less dominant hand. I found that writing was surprisingly helpful. I wrote stories and songs, long rants and random thoughts, anything to fill up my thoughts. I wished Kellin would try something. It disturbed me how he just sat in that chair, never moving, rarely blinking. He was there, but he really wasn’t. It was scary.

I called Oli later and asked that he come over and talk with Kellin. Oli had always been there in the past and knew what Kellin needed, probably more so than Kellin himself. Oli gladly agreed. I knew he missed Kellin a lot, that being separated and not knowing what was going on was awful for him. And Kellin needed a friend.

The thing I missed the most was being able to play the guitar. I had always found it calming, and it was distressing that I _couldn’t_ play anymore. Something that used to help just reminded me of what I lost. I didn’t listen to music anymore. It just brought up too many emotions. 

When Oli came over, I led him upstairs to the room Kellin never left. He was still sitting in his chair, looking blankly at the wall. Oli knocked lightly on the door, and Kellin startled. Oli slowly walked into the room, showing Kellin his hands, that he wasn’t holding anything. When he got close, Oli sat on the floor next to Kellin, not touching him but also not talking. They sat there for a long time before Kellin snaked his hand over the armrest and grabbed Oli’s hand. Then he started crying. 

“Kellin, may I give you a hug?” He hesitated before nodding, and Oli folded his arms around Kellin, cradling him as he sobbed.

“I’m so sorry,” Kellin whispered. 

“Why are you sorry?”

“I should’ve been stronger, fought back more, it was all my fault and it was even from the beginning.” Kellin only cried harder, and his thin frame shook with each sob.

“Kellin, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Kellin kept crying. “Kellin, did you hurt anyone?” He shook his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm gonna try to write more and actually finish some of my stories, but we'll see. For this one, I think in general it'll be going uphill. I'm not planning any new bad stuff. I think I'm gonna try and focus on recovery/the aftermath. Anyways, hmu if you have any suggestions, comments, ideas, complaints, anything you want to say. Yeah. Love you!


	2. Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya so this chapter then an epilogue. Biggest trigger would be thoughts. Okay Love you!

Kellin’s POV

I could _feel_ his hands crawling on my back and bile rose in my throat. _He’s not there, he’s not there, he’s not there_ I chanted in my head. No one was going to hurt me. I was safe. I had to be safe.

Vic must’ve called Oli and I was grateful that he did. Oli knew how to help me, he always had. He was able to stay calm, stay steady. It didn’t really help. I still felt awful, I felt dirty. I _was_ dirty. Oli said it wasn’t my fault, but it was. It always was. There must be something wrong with me. I deserved to be hurt, I deserved to be in pain. I deserved to be alone with my thoughts because sometimes reality was kinder to me than my mind was.

Oli held me in his arms as I cried, tightly enough that I felt safe but gently enough that I didn’t feel trapped. I felt Vic watching us, watching me and I knew he pitied me. He felt _bad_ for me, because I was weak. I was disgusting. 

“Kellin,” Oli whispered. “I want you to do something. I want you to see a therapist.” I shook my head. I didn’t need someone’s help, I didn’t need someone else to judge me. “Please. Just try it.”

“I don’t want them to judge me,” I said plaintively. 

“They won’t judge you, Kellin. They might be able to help.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Please. Just once. If you don’t like them, you don’t have to see them again. And you’ll be safe. Someone can be with you if that would make you feel better, otherwise you can be alone. I’ll, we’ll do anything to help you.”

“Why would you help me? I’m not worth it.”

“Yes, you are. Kellin, we care about you. And everyone deserves help.”

“Not me.”

“Even you, Kellin. Even you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was short, sorry.


	3. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! This is it!

I was still afraid, but it was much better than before. Oli was right, the therapist helped. She was kind and calm, but also direct. She was amazing. 

It had been a little over a year since it was over. I had improved a lot. Doors opening made me jump, and people knew not to touch me or come up behind me. But I was able to leave the house and I lived on my own, in an apartment in the city. It was safe, with a locked entrance so people couldn’t just wander in. 

I didn’t spend much time with Vic. It brought up too many memories. We were still friends, it was still nice to see him, but I got easily overwhelmed. Everyone around me, though, supported me when I needed it. Oli and Vic were amazing, as well as all the assorted gang members that were affiliated with him. And Gerard and Frank and especially Mikey had been kind. My band didn’t know everything, but they still supported me and took care of me. We still played music but we didn’t do concerts. Too many people. My band didn’t care, though. They were just happy to be able to make music.

I was just happy to be alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for reading this, and reading the first one. You guys are great. Part of the reason the ending was really rushed is I wasn't sure how to show the fact that Kellin will be struggling for the rest of his life. I sometimes read fics where a month later, everything's fine. I didn't know how to show the recovery without being really repetitive. Plus I have difficulty writing positive things. :/ Anyway, love you guys, have a good day, thanks for reading!


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